FROM INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN TO WONDER WOMAN, BY ELIZABETH DE LA PEÑA VEESER
March 23, 2026
In the rooms where decisions get made—succession planning, talent reviews, and critical project discussions—I’ve heard a version of this more times than I can count:
“She’s strong, but she doesn’t really speak up.”
“We’d like to see her really take ownership.”
“I’m not sure she sees herself at the next level.”
What’s notable is that these comments are usually about highly capable, high-performing women.
At the same time, those same women are in meetings saying:
“This might not be right, but…”
“Just a thought…”
I call this the “Incredible Shrinking Woman” effect.
And while it may seem small in the moment, it shows up later—in how others assess confidence, readiness, and leadership potential.
Why This Still Matters
In a fast-paced, high-stakes industry like energy, visibility isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Research from Women in the Workplace (McKinsey & LeanIn) shows that women are less likely to receive high-visibility opportunities that are critical for advancement.
That gap isn’t just about access. It’s also about how we show up when those opportunities are in front of us.
What “Shrinking” Can Look Like
- Softening or qualifying your ideas before sharing them
- Downplaying your role in results or outcomes
- Waiting until your point feels fully formed or ‘perfect’ before speaking
Individually, these may seem small. Collectively, they shape how others perceive your confidence and readiness.
ONE SHIFT TO TRY THIS WEEK
Say your point—without softening it.
Instead of: “I’m not sure, but maybe we could…”
Try: “Here’s what I recommend.”
Pause—and let it land.
Stepping Into Wonder Woman Energy
You don’t need to be louder to be more effective. But you do need to be seen and heard.
In environments where decisions are made quickly, how you show up shapes how others assess your leadership.
When you stop shrinking, it’s not just others who begin to see you differently.
You begin to see yourself differently, too.
And that shift changes everything.
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Elizabeth De La Peña Veeser
Leadership Coach & Facilitator
www.dlpcoaching.com
