SOME DAYS I'M A LEADER, BY BILLIEJEAN RING
April 8, 2026
There are days I walk into a room and think, Wow, look at me. Leading. Thriving. Using words like “strategic alignment” without blinking. And then there are other days…where I sit in my car and seriously consider if I can just reschedule life. Not the meeting. Not my task list. Life.
If you’ve ever taken a deep breath in a parking lot and given yourself a quiet pep talk like, “Okay… we’re going to go in there, and we’re going to act like we slept eight hours and have zero emotions,” then you already know.
The Myth of the Strong Woman
Somewhere along the way, we decided that being a “strong woman” meant holding everything together, handling everything gracefully, and apparently never needing a nap. Which is honestly unfair, and a little unrealistic. Because real life doesn’t look like that.
Real life looks like leading a meeting at 10:00 and wondering at 10:02 if you remembered to switch the laundry. It looks like solving big problems while quietly carrying personal ones. It looks like answering emails, supporting your team, and thinking, why am I like this today?
Experience That Doesn’t Show Up on a Resume
You can be the one who gets things done, keeps things moving, holds everything together…and also be carrying things that would bring most people to their knees. It might be sitting in a doctor’s office hearing words you never expected, like “you have breast cancer”. Or navigating loss that doesn’t neatly resolve itself so you can get back to work. Those experiences don’t disappear when you walk into work. They come with you… just quieter.
Life has a way of handing you moments that completely shift your perspective. The kind that say, we’re doing things differently now. And yet, we still show up. We still contribute. We still lead. We find ways to support others, even on the days we’re running on something much deeper than energy.
At this point, I’m convinced women run on resilience, responsibility… and a very strong “well, I guess it’s getting done anyway” attitude.
Strong Woman Energy… Reconsidered
What if strong isn’t what we thought? What if it’s not about pushing through everything without pause? What if it’s taking a breath before you walk in or saying “give me a minute” instead of pretending you don’t need one. If strength were only about never getting tired or overwhelmed, most of us would have tapped out somewhere around Tuesday.
Defense of the Nap
The nap has been unfairly judged and needs better PR. The nap is not laziness or lack of ambition. The nap is leadership. (Okay, maybe not officially… but it should be). The nap is a strategy, it’s a full system reboot, and sometimes the only thing standing between you and responding to an email you absolutely should not send; because the ability to pause, reset, and come back clear-headed? That’s not weakness. That’s sustainability.
And in careers, industries, and lives that demand so much from us…sustainability matters.
Some Days You Need to Lead Yourself
You can be strong and still have moments where you think, I cannot do one more thing today. You can be capable and still feel overwhelmed. You can be successful and still need a minute…or five! None of that makes you less of a leader. In fact, the women who have walked through hard things; loss, challenges, and life-altering moments…they lead differently. They lead with perspective, empathy, and real strength. And that kind of leadership? You can’t fake it.
So If Today Is a Car Day…
Take the minute, take the breath, take the reset. And if you need it…take the nap. You’re not falling behind, you’re refueling. Some days you will lead the room and some days you will lead yourself through the moment; both count, both matter. And both are exactly what strong looks like.
Leadership is fluid, and truly strong women know when to lead, when to pause, and when to ignore one thing until tomorrow.
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BillieJean Ring
2026 WEN Conference Speaker
Owner, BJR Consulting
